Dr. Manhattan's Jingley Bits
For anyone who actually reads this blog, for the past month or so, its been Watchmen Watchmen Watchmen. This, hopefully, might be the very last thing I'll have to write about that bloody film.
* * *
The interesting thing about die hard Fanboys is that they'll buy stuff they do not like so they can complain about it. A Fanboy will religiously go to the comic shop on Wednesdays, buy their issue of X-Men and complain about it on a forum. They will continue to buy X-Men every month until they find a girlfriend. Perhaps this habit exists because they enjoy being miserable. Maybe with their lives, maybe with fiction.
When it was announced that the Watchmen movie will show Dr. Manhattan's penis, Fanboys were happy because it was accurate to the comic. And because they love the comic book, anything accurate to the comic book will be as good, if not better, on the big screen.
Be careful what you wish for.
I come from an art school background and there was a time that I saw a naked person almost everyday. Plus I've been to Burningman, so I've seen plenty of limp penises. It only mildly phases me. When I saw Watchmen in the theater, teenagers were giggling at the naked shots. This, of course, drew my attention to Dr. Manhattan's crotch area. And since I have friends who work in production, these thoughts came to mind after the movie:
In large budget movies for 3D, most likely, you're modeling the big toe of the right foot of a dinosaur or something. Which means someone had to 3D model Dr. Manhattan's penis. Is he going to put it on his demo reel?
Did he just look at one penis for reference, or is it a composite of several penises? Did he look at his own, or ask a co-worker to pull their pants down?
When he sculpted the penis, did he have a meeting with the Art Director, Director and Actor? Were they over his shoulder, discussing how big or small it should be. Were they arguing over it, telling him to tweek thing that ultimately won't make a big difference. Was there something in the Actor's contract about the depiction of his penis? Circumcised or uncircumcised? Girth or length?
If the guy who 3D modeled the penis wasn't gay, was he starting to question his heterosexuality? Did he fear getting an erection while he sculpted the penis? Did he use ZBrush or Maya? Was he starting to get in the habit of staring at men's crotches when he walked out in public?
Was he hired because he used to work at the dildo factory?
Plus, you also had the guy who animated the penis. I've been to enough figure drawing classes to know when a penis isn't animated right. It moved too slowly. It was all wrong. Another reason why too much of my attention was put on it.
Obviously, the guy who animated Dr. Manhattan's penis wasn't gay at all. But if he was, the penis would've animated better.
What about the guy who rigged it? Was it just one bone? (Yes, I know how that sounds, but this is the sort of terminology in 3D)
I'd like to imagine that I'll find the demo reel of the guy who worked on Dr. Manhattan's penis. In his demo reel, along side monsters and zombies he did for a video game and the big toe of the right foot of a dinosaur, there's also a close-up of Dr. Manhattan's glowing man-crotch, moving slowly as he walks, for about five seconds.
penis.
* * *
The interesting thing about die hard Fanboys is that they'll buy stuff they do not like so they can complain about it. A Fanboy will religiously go to the comic shop on Wednesdays, buy their issue of X-Men and complain about it on a forum. They will continue to buy X-Men every month until they find a girlfriend. Perhaps this habit exists because they enjoy being miserable. Maybe with their lives, maybe with fiction.
When it was announced that the Watchmen movie will show Dr. Manhattan's penis, Fanboys were happy because it was accurate to the comic. And because they love the comic book, anything accurate to the comic book will be as good, if not better, on the big screen.
Be careful what you wish for.
I come from an art school background and there was a time that I saw a naked person almost everyday. Plus I've been to Burningman, so I've seen plenty of limp penises. It only mildly phases me. When I saw Watchmen in the theater, teenagers were giggling at the naked shots. This, of course, drew my attention to Dr. Manhattan's crotch area. And since I have friends who work in production, these thoughts came to mind after the movie:
In large budget movies for 3D, most likely, you're modeling the big toe of the right foot of a dinosaur or something. Which means someone had to 3D model Dr. Manhattan's penis. Is he going to put it on his demo reel?
Did he just look at one penis for reference, or is it a composite of several penises? Did he look at his own, or ask a co-worker to pull their pants down?
When he sculpted the penis, did he have a meeting with the Art Director, Director and Actor? Were they over his shoulder, discussing how big or small it should be. Were they arguing over it, telling him to tweek thing that ultimately won't make a big difference. Was there something in the Actor's contract about the depiction of his penis? Circumcised or uncircumcised? Girth or length?
If the guy who 3D modeled the penis wasn't gay, was he starting to question his heterosexuality? Did he fear getting an erection while he sculpted the penis? Did he use ZBrush or Maya? Was he starting to get in the habit of staring at men's crotches when he walked out in public?
Was he hired because he used to work at the dildo factory?
Plus, you also had the guy who animated the penis. I've been to enough figure drawing classes to know when a penis isn't animated right. It moved too slowly. It was all wrong. Another reason why too much of my attention was put on it.
Obviously, the guy who animated Dr. Manhattan's penis wasn't gay at all. But if he was, the penis would've animated better.
What about the guy who rigged it? Was it just one bone? (Yes, I know how that sounds, but this is the sort of terminology in 3D)
I'd like to imagine that I'll find the demo reel of the guy who worked on Dr. Manhattan's penis. In his demo reel, along side monsters and zombies he did for a video game and the big toe of the right foot of a dinosaur, there's also a close-up of Dr. Manhattan's glowing man-crotch, moving slowly as he walks, for about five seconds.
penis.
posted by theory_of_everything
at
8:54 AM
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